Aaron and Ryan

Aaron and Ryan are a pair of characters in The Grand Bachelorette

Equipment:

 * Red Bull
 * matching iPhones
 * a crate of TROJAN MAGNUMS
 * xBox
 * ps3
 * A MADDEN GAME FOR EVERY YEAR EVER
 * Halo
 * 20 cans of Axe in a variety of scents
 * A red convertible Ryan's dad bought them

Skills:

 * headshots in any FPS game
 * slam dunks
 * ability to sag pants and have them not fall off
 * animal magnetism
 * CAN SPOT A CHICK AT 200 PACES
 * Aaron: star of the Rugby team. Has mad rugby skills
 * Ryan: star of the lacrosse team. Has mad rugby skills.
 * Ryan: Also a life guard.

Weaknesses:

 * Aaron: his bro, Jager Bombs, body shots, great white sharks, water
 * Ryan: his bro, keg stands, running out of Red Solo cups, losing his bro

Personality:
Aaron: Aaron is a bro who is up for anything man. Anything, he isn't afraid. Unless you're like. A fucking shark. Then he'll probably just be all like "Uh yeah man, actually I'm gonna just go to the gym and work my triceps.."

But yeah, Aaron's not a coward most of the time, you know, like he's got balls up the wazoo. And! He loves to show off and just. Like. Fucking hyperbole everywhere. You don't even know. He's a got a soft side too, he guesses, otherwise he wouldn't be sure how he'd pick up so many chicks.... Other than his fuckawesome physique. And.. and.. Oh yeah!

Him and his bro, he just. Man. He can't help but have the beginnings of a manly tear when he thinks about all Ryan has done for him, of course it never shows because that would totally be unmanly. Most girls are surprised by just how much bromadery the two have, and at times, even Aaron is surprised. He can't even imagine a world without his bro, and he hope that he'll never have to.

Ryan: Ryan is a complex dude. I mean, he likes playing Halo, but he also likes his duties as the star of the lacrosse team. And on an even deeper plane, he loves checking out hot chicks. But seriously, though he may have a perfectly tanned and ripped outside, on the inside, his deep manly bro love for his brah radiates, warming him and giving him the energy for all nighters and totally rad keggers. He just can't be without his bro, and ever sense the incident, he gets deeply moved if his bro isn't there. Or maybe that's just the Taco Bell combo mealâ€¦no, wait, it's his love for his bro.

Ryan is the more sensitive one towards the ladies. He knows exactly what they want: to look at his hot bro body. His life just wouldn't be the same without his bro. They are in this together forever. Fo' reals.

Biography:
Long ago, when the Bros were just little bros, there were three instead of two. This third little bro was Marty "Marty Brahs" Mullberry, and the three of them were alright bros, you know, they hung around. Though nothing like the bond of bros held between The Bone Wolf and Obi-Wan Ka Boney today.

Five years ago, when Obi-Wan Ka Boney was just a padawan, there was an incident.

This incident caused Ryan to have his already deep sense of protectiveness for his bro Aaron DEEPEN EVEN MORE, and made Aaron become reduced to a little bitch in the presence of large marine animals and water.

Back in the day, on those totally rad sunny days. Days when the chicks would come out in their bikinis, they would hop on their mountain bikes and ride to the beach. Ryan was on lifeguard duty, doing it for the sweet payroll and hot chicks while Aaron and Marty were off surfing, showing off to the hot older women. But they went too far out in the water trying to impress those chicks, and they had a run in with a great white shark, which was totally uncool.

They tried to fight off the shark, bro fisting it in the nose even. But alas, it was not enough, as Marty was slain. Aaron only lived by a goat's hair, saved by Ryan who couldn't believe something could happen to his bros. He allowed one manly tear to escape his right eye, but was able to pass it off as the salt water, preserving his bad-enoughness.

Ever since, the two of them, Obi Wan KaBoney and The Bone Wolf, were closer than ever.

One dark day, Ryan got a girlfriend and he committed the most grievous of errors. He put his hoe before his bros. The bro became concerned as his bro started bailing on parties, not replying to texts right after he got them, even ditching the midnight release of Madden '05 to go on a date. She was Ryan's girlfriend, and they were 'in love', Aaron didn't approve. Hell, he didn't approve of anything that came between him and his brotime. But noooo, as their relationship went on, Ryan went less and less to parties, and spent more and more time with his girlfriend, cuddling... holding hands... Worst of all, he watched chickflicks with her. CHICKFLICKS. Yeah, and she didn't like Aaron much either. It was a mutual dislike.

One day, Ryan knew, just as his girlfriend and his bro knew, that he would have to choose.

Lose his best bro? Or keep up with a highschool relationship that had little chance of anything?

He never had a chance though, as one beach party, there was a shark in the water. A great white shark. And it ate her, and Ryan tried desperately to save her, and even Aaron, who fought his fear of water and marine predators to help his bro in need, because even if she was a bitch, she was Ryan's bitch and he loved her.

Introduction
One day, as the two bros were cruising in Ryan's convertible, an ad on the radio came up. It spoke of some chick who really needed a banging. Ryan looked at his bro. Aaron looked at his bro. The bro's eyes met. Ryan grabbed the wheel, and they drove off into the sunset together, wearing their shades, knowing that whatever was to come, this would be the most totally sweet hella adventure ever.