Felus

Felus is a character in The $300,000 Fight-A-Thon, the eighth Season Intermission battle.

Description
Felus is a cat of a magnificent shade of blue. His eyes are constantly alight with a green fire and constantly skewed into an expression of disdain. His legs, tail, and neck are about three times the length of a normal cat’s, but despite this he moves with extraordinary grace.

Felus is the former God of Cats. He has set out on a quest to free his people from the temptation of human domestication, but because he is no longer a god, cats are not required by divine law to follow him – but since he’s pretty charismatic, that is usually not a problem.

His power is based off of myths and legends. They say that he has infinitely sharp claws and teeth strong enough to bite through iron, that he can climb the sheerest surfaces, etc. While he had Godhood, all of these were true, but as his followers deserted him for the humans, the myths began to drop off and disappear.

He is a being of dignity, and he has his standards. Though he knows most of the human languages, he refuses to speak them unless it is absolutely necessary. His dogma is that it is far better to die than to become one with the humans – and he sees human interaction as a symbol of submission.

Biography
“I demand an audience with Hominus,” Felus sat before the gigantic form of the Human God in his most regal pose and curled his tail around his legs.

Hominus’ toe began to undulate and flow, as a drop of water will, until it was vaguely the shape of a human female.

“He is busy attending to other things,” said the flesh, slowly developing fingers and toes. “I am his emissary. I will do.”

Felus bristled. “I have never been treated with such disrespect! I, Lord of Cats, demand an audience with Hominus himself!”

The emissary’s eye popped into existence. She seemed unperturbed by Felus’ outrage.

“What matters do you wish to discuss?”

“You can tell Hominus that he…”

He trailed off, distracted by the sudden appearance of hair on the emissary.

“He what?” she crossed her arms.

Felus drew himself up to his full height – not much, but very tall for a cat.“That he must stop appropriating my subjects!”

She shrugged. “It is our nature to domesticate animals.” Her arm grew spots and a miniature cow formed from her hand.

“The cow is ours,” she said. The uncannily replicated figure separated itself from her wrist and began to browse on the clouds.

“The dog is part of us as well.” The bovine swirled and flowed into a canine form.

“Soon you will be ours too.”

“No!” Felus’ eyes flared with a green fire as a swipe of his claw tore the emissary into a cloud of ash.

“Hominus!” he howled. Hominus’ ankle swelled and began to become a human form. Another emissary. He ripped it to shreds before it could sever itself from the body.

“Hominus!” He shredded emissaries left and right. “I demand to speak with you in person!”

Suddenly the emissaries stopped forming. A gigantic head rested its chin on the clouds before Felus.

“I am here,” he boomed, his voice speaking with the voices of thousands. The distant rumble of thunder could be heard from deep inside his throat.

“Stop this madness at once!” Felus clawed at the ground. Hominus chuckled.

“Already, you grow weak. Look at how tiny you are! Your followers are deserting you, Felus.”

“No! You assimilate them, you absorb them!”

“I play fair, Felus. I offer them food, water, security. The choice is their own.” Hominus was grinning.

“Tempter, then! Satan! Is that not what your own people would say?!”

“Humans have many religions. Though the truth is not among them, I can still draw from their legends. You, on the other hand, well.”

“Let my people go, bastard!” He stood up on his back legs, snarling.

“You’ll be mine, Felus, you’ll see.”

“The lions, the tigers, jaguars! Still they are free!” “They are dying, Felus, and you know it.”

“They only die because you kill them! You will face the consequences!” He landed a strike on Hominus’ nose, leaving four red and bleeding slashes. Hominus reared up quickly, shouting, head lost to view far above. Felus turned tail to run.

“Come back here! You’ll pay for that!” He lunged, but Felus jumped aside, Hominus falling on his face. His bulk made the clouds shake and it began to rain on the world below.

“I go to rally my followers, rescue those who have been tempted!” He began to approach a hole in the clouds.

“You would forsake your godhood?” said Hominus, slowly standing up, seeing what Felus was doing.

“Anything but wait here for my doom! We’ll meet again, Hominus!” He leapt through the breach in the heavens, graceful as ever.