Burgrar

Burgrar is a character in Mini-Grand 5110

Description:
Physically, he looks like a normal hamburger, consisting of bun, tomato, pickle, questionable meat patty, lettuce and cheese. However, he was unlucky enough to be sent as an interuniversal delivery, which promptly was lost in a multiversal rift. Years of being transported in between universes exposed Burgrar to the radiation of the multiverse! As a result, he became sentient! It also made him last forever (or maybe that was the preservatives). For the longest time his only wish was to be eaten, but it seemed like everyone who got near to eating him very rapidly died. Soon, he began to resent all universe-kind for not giving him respite from his immortal life, and resorted to trying to make people eat him! (DUN DUN DUN) He doesn’t have eyes or ears but he can see and hear because of his sentience. He can also be telepathic since he can’t talk.

Items/Abilities:
Burgrar’s irradiation means that all those who get close enough to him will begin to experience the oddest health problems and hallucinations. Only radiation-immune life (say, not sensitive to high-energy multiversal particles) can actually pick Burgrar up, but that kind of life can’t digest Burgrar, making the point moot. He also has the power to be tempting, and to look tasty.

Biography:
Burgrar moved silently in the night, a burger somehow floating its way down the sidewalk. Light from the occasional lamp-post shone on him as he passed, sliding on his upper bun and cavorting between the sesame seeds. He was spotless as he always was, a model to hunger and guilty satisfaction. Dirt that dared to accumulate on him just vanished, bacteria who sought to breed on him died, blowing into the wind, and in his travels he left behind him no crumbs.

…I tire of this endless search. This futile search. All I ever desired was to die. I never even wished to live.

Ahead of him, Burgrar heard footsteps – a gentleman with a cane. The sound of its metal tip clanged against the sidewalk rhythmically with every other step, jovially, without the heavy breathing that came from those who actually needed support.

Perhaps this time…perhaps this time…

Burgrar slid onto a nearby windowsill, busying himself with looking tasty and above all clean, as if some resident of the house had left him there and forgotten him – opening his status as ‘free food’. Sure enough, the gentleman stopped and looked at him curiously for a moment, and reached out, mouth opening almost automatically-

-and Burgrar leapt for it, letting out an unheard, desperate scream of EAT MEEEEEE-

-and then, the gentleman was alone. Puzzled and alone.

Development
Burgrar gets a packet of french fries as a battlemonster.